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You can still ditch her! Dude, you can still ditch her! You're making the wrong choice! |
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-random guy to his buddy, while out in front of Edwards 21 in Irvine
October 28, 2008 |
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So, how's your package gonna look? ...taken out of context that could sound very wrong. |
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-Rosa B., while discussing photo packages I'm putting together
October 25, 2008 |
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What it is? A printer?
A Xbox... |
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-Walmart Returns lady & Beau Pe, when Beau took his Xbox in to exchange...
October 22, 2008 |
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You know, if you're going to show someone's boobs.... they need to have... they need to have some nice ta-ta's... |
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-Casey Shortt, while discussing a photographers online portfolio with me
October 9, 2008 |
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i can't even begin to imagine how much texting went on at the warped tour.
lol
"OMG MY CHECMICAL RONMCNCE IS COMNIGN RIGHTNOWW"
HAHAHAHA
actually there'd be no typoes because they're all fucking aces at that shit... not that i'm not either, but .. i'll pretend like i can insult them for it haha |
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-Jeffrey LaMonde & John Remus I, talking about a photo I shot at Warped Tour of little emo kids on their cells texting
October 25, 2008 |
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When I can run two miles and come back dripping in sweat... And not not-come-back... Yeah... |
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-Beau Peregino, while at Ralphs comparing how in shape he is compared to me
August 23, 2008 |
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Hey! There was another black guy in high school with us... But I think he got arrested... |
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-TJ, while looking through our yearbook (for a predominately asian school district)
May 25, 2008 |
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Grapes grow on trees Remus... They'll be fine! |
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-Tim D., while at Vision in Vegas. In Michelle's room putting grapes in the fridge
June 12, 2008 |
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Vegas... it's the loudest flight going in... And the quietest flight going out... |
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-guy sitting next to me, during another business trip to Vegas
April 24, 2008 |
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I was using the white people as a meter |
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-Terry R., about sunbathing at Mandalay Bay while on a job in Vegas
June 2008 |
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If you drive reallllly fast...
And between the drops! |
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-Me and Brooklyn, at work, talking to Ed about delivering large video screens to the University in the rain
February 20, 2007 |
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There's only two types of Black music to you, huh? Stripper music, and Gangsta music... |
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-Jo'juan J., to Aaron, our boss at work
February 12, 2007 |
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What if I have sex with a French man and have no idea what he's saying?!? How UNsexy would that be??!! |
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-Liz M., thoughts on going to France
December 19, 2007 |
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Ok... You're Asian... EVERYONE is big to you! |
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-Anish R., talking to Stephen
November, 2007 |
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Oh, that's right cuz NASA goes by Houston time, huh? |
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-Hung L., talking to Sandy about 6:30a start time for work here in California
June, 2007 |
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Robert, if you suck one more game I'm going to go tell your mom! |
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-Mark J., to Robert for doing terrible at Halo 3 during break at work
November, 2007 |
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Once you step it up two fingers you know you're a true bulimic! |
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-James M., joking with the guys at work
November 19, 2007 |
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I never liked nSync... but the Backstreet Boys were the shit! |
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-Robert, at work when some guys were talkin about old boy bands being popular
November 18, 2007 |
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Fuck you! I wear extra-large... You needa gain some weight... BULK UP BITCH! |
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-Sergio A., to Josh about the shirt he gave him after Josh said it was too big
October, 2007 |
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We don't have Employee of the Month... we have Tweak of the Week |
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-Mark R., about how our industry is full of ... well.. stoners
September 9, 2007 |
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I found out at the 32 that I'm white..
Lowered my insurance!
...been paying brown insurance all my life! |
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-Sergio, after finding out he's more white than mexican
September 2007 |
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If you don't have a two button mouse... GO GET ONE! |
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-Adobe presenter, while using a Mac, telling people to give up the one-button crap
September 6, 2007 |
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Oh! That's right! This is Teamster tape - if you don't go slow it won't work...
You can also yell at it.. "GO YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!" |
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-Paul, during Photoshopworld when the carpet tape kept tearing on him
September 5, 2007 |
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Just keep aiming! Don't move! |
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-Stephen, talking about his logic after Mac shut off the breaker to the bathroom lights on him
September 2007 |
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The pictures are a bit fuzzy... But I got here in five minutes!!! |
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-Brian, talking about how I should buy a supercharger and not a Canon Mark III
August 12, 2007 |
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I killed two stones with one throw... |
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-Joe Batres, words of wisdom when you're half-asleep in the morning
July 9, 2007 |
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"...AND IF YOU PLAY ANY OF OUR PLAYLISTS...
YOU HAVE TO FIND NEW SONGS!" |
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-Joe Batres, joking with me after I got transferred from his department at work
July 31, 2007 |
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Have you ever had a Velvet Hammer? I know how it sounds... it'd be a great name for my penis if I were to name it something..." |
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-Josh Carlson, at work, talking about the drink "the velvet hammer"
July 26, 2007 |
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"I know, I'm like a disgrace to.."
"CUBANS! EVERYWHERE!" |
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-John Remus III & Joe Batres, Me and Joe talking about how I've never seen Scarface
July 17, 2007 |
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Yeah! How come I'm not on your site? I want my name to come up on Google. |
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-Gianni Agrusa, after his brother Andrew said his name shows up on Google because of my site
September 1, 2007 |
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See, I think your phone does too much, Jay... |
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-Andrew Agrusa, my cousin talking to my mom's fiance about his cell phone's features..
April 1, 2007 |
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If I got mugged while peeing, I would cry |
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-random kid in the bathroom, about using the urinals
February 23, 2007 |
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I've tried missing a week of work. I've tried not doing anything at all... hiding in the changing rooms. Nothing works. I tried putting up half-off signs on stuff... I can't win John... |
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-John Ehlke, on working at Kohls, and him wanting them to think he's not the all-star employee they think he is
November 21, 2006 |
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So the other night I went to eat ice cream... and I didn't know where the spoons were... |
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-Mark Smith, after him, Merissa, and I have lived in our apartment for the last 14 weeks
November 19, 2006 |
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Nickelodeon? I watch quite a lot! |
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-Old Lady, while sitting at the movie theatre
September 15, 2006 |
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Doctor Robin, from Oprah... she makes me feel like a better woman all the time... |
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-Mark Smith, on talk shows
September 2006 |
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What if the sun exploded tomorrow? We'd have a good paper on Wednesday! |
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-Mark Smith, when we were talking about the sun blowing up one day
October 9, 2006 |
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How many times have you actually seen or talked to President Rao? ...outside of some jogging event... |
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-Phil Hornshaw, about how you never really see the school president much
October 17, 2006 |
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I always have little black children in my dreams... |
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-Merissa Ferguson, while talking about a weird dream she had over the weekend
October 15, 2006 |
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Then buy drugs! |
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-Mark Smith, to Jill, after she said she has extra money for school.
September 24, 2006 |
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Use the Germ-X before you touch anything! (points and smiles) |
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-Jill Woodbeck, after finding out Ryan was in a dirty aparment and about to touch her computer
September 22, 2006 |
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It's kinda awkward that it's not loud... What's a word for that? Quiet! |
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-Mark W. Smith, while sitting at The Cabin. (usually a very noisey bar)
August 25, 2006 |
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No way in hell I'm having worse hair than a straight roommate... but I appreciate you raising the bar. |
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-Mark Smith, on my new haircut
July 27, 2006 |
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You know, for it being the apocalypse, it was a really nice day... |
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-Evan Dickinson, about the beautiful warm and clear 70 degree day here in California on 6-6-06
June 6, 2006 |
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Yeah, he wears all sorts of (arm) guards cuz if he gets hit with a ball his 'roid rage will kick in and he'll kill the pitcher... |
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-TJ Lauters, joking about Barry Bonds use of steroids
June 6, 2006 |
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It's ok, I don't speak Ebonics |
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-Margaret Washington, after I said something about not fitting any racial stereotype for my ethnic background, she points out she doesn't fit hers either
May 30, 2006 |
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HEY! That's what my ass looks like! |
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-Todd Deland, talking about Jeff LaMonde's hairy chest during Erin's graduation party
May 5, 2006 |
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That sounds AMAZING! |
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-Mark Smith, after hearing someone say something about "married with two men"
May 5, 2006 |
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KNOW YOUR ROLE, BITCH! |
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-Mark Smith, to Alison during Erin's graduation party
May 5, 2006 |
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YOUR CLOWN FEET ARE IN THE WAY!!! |
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-Todd Deland, making fun of my feet during Erin's graduation party
May 5, 2006 |
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What am I kidding, we should have gotten a one bedroom! |
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-Mark Smith, saying that him, merissa, and I should just live in one bedroom to save money on rent next semester
May 5, 2006 |
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You can just put balls on my face |
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-Mark Smith, talking about sports stickers during Erin's graduation party
May 5, 2006 |
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I really kind of want to occupy the same space as a giant lion... |
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-Christine, on why we're dropping everything and moving to Africa later this week
May 2, 2006 |
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The one bathroom? -Alex
The one where you step up to pee? I feel like I'm on stage! -Todd |
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-Alex Stawinski & Todd Deland, talking about Ryan's 421 Painting with Light assignment
April 30, 2006 |
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Taste's like it's coated in Dawn... |
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-Ryan Evon, about the lemon chicken in our awards banquet buffet
April 28, 2006 |
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It's O.K. I'm Driving!!!! |
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-Mark Smith, saying don't worry about how much he's had to drink, which was quite a bit
April 22, 2006 |
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This is a little Team Dick... |
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-Phil, pointing out that there were many more men than women at Elly's Team Vag party
April 22, 2006 |
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Alright, enough of this teasing... either you dive that muff or GET OUT!!! |
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-Phil, when Elly and her roommates were drunk and trying to wrestle during their party
April 22, 2006 |
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GOD DAMN THIS DILDO! |
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-Phil, talking about a very phalic bubble blower at Elly's party
April 22, 2006 |
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Nothing get's me going me goin like the Wariner seal... Skeet skeet skeet! |
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-Random Guy, joking with his friends on campus
April 12, 2006 |
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There. I just doubled your net worth... |
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-John Remus II, my dad gave me $20 after seeing me looking at my checking account with only $13 in it
March 9, 2006 |
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Actually, I hear I have a pretty good mouth... |
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-Melissa Schnaible, after calling her a bad mouth
December 24th, 2005 |
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That's a legitimate business deal |
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-Victor Fitzsimmons, joking about Elly having to touch Mark for covering a photo assignment for her
February 25, 2006 |
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Now... What's the best way to get to Newark Airport? -Joe
I don't know... -John
Either do I... -Joe |
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-Joe Lanza & John Remus, an hour an a half before my flight out, Joe shows that he doesn't really know his way around his hometown
March 13, 2005 |
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Once we lost 5th gear everything was fine! |
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-Joe Lanza, saying the 18 hour drive really wasn't too bad under the circumstances
March 11, 2005 |
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So a wop, a spic, and a chink walk into Disneyworld... |
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-John Remus, after a bunch of racial jokes on the monorail, I point out that between Joe, Chris, and I we're pretty much set up for a joke of our own
March 10, 2005 |
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Well... we're doing "0" right now, so you better kick it. |
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-Chris Biggs, on how fast we weren't getting to Orlando
March 10, 2005 |
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Do you mean... HER VAGINA! |
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-Joe Lanza, sassin Merri cuz she didn't like that word
March 10, 2005 |
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I'LL FUCK YOU UP! |
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-Merri Howe, threating... pretty much everyone, on the way to Florida
March 10, 2005 |
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...4... 5! I... I was close! |
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-Beau Peregino, trying to dial his own home number
March 10, 2005 |
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"LAUREL!" -Joe
It's a sign... GET IT!?! It's a sign! -John |
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-Joe Lanza & John Remus, talking about a street sign, and how everything was a "sign" that we should drive to Florida instead of staying in Jersey
March 10, 2005 |
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Sounds like a porno... - Merri
Yeah, Merri's Mounds. -Joe |
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-Merri Howe & Joe Lanza, joking on the drive to Florida
March 10, 2005 |
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It's right here! YOU MORON! -Joe
I FOUND IT! YOU MORON! -John |
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-Joe Lanza & John Remus, looking for the AC power adapter while driving to Florida from Jersey, Spring Break '05
March 10, 2005 |
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I'm so far from lesbian it's not even funny |
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-Merissa Ferguson, during MPPA weekend with the photographers
February 25, 2006 |
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I had a pair of pups you would have given your left nut for... |
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-Random Guy, overhead this guy talking to the mechanic about hunting dogs at the tire shop I was at
January 27, 2006 |
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Can we smoke Pot tonight!!! |
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-Mark W. Smith, joking about starting to do drugs after passing his drug test with flying colors
January 19, 2006 |
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I don't swallow! |
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-Deanna Thele, after being made fun of for inhaling her food
January 6, 2006 |
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How about I bend over, and you just serve it to me? Alright? |
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-Ryan Williams, talking to Joe Lanza during our January '06 Disney Reunion
January 4, 2006 |
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She's cute, don't get me wrong. But she's a midget! |
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-Lucass Merrill, talking about the one short girl in Julie's fashion photography shoot
November 2005 |
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You're late! -Gate lady
I know. -Pilot
Must have been a line at Starbucks. -Gate lady
It's important (holds up coffee). The airplane needs to fly! -Pilot |
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-Pilot and Gate attendant at Sa, talking about why the pilot was late. If that's the reason, take all the time you need Mr. Pilot
November 6, 2005 |
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Get wasted at home. Then go. |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, explaining an easy way to not get an M.I.P. like the 40-something students who did over homecoming weekend
November 2005 |
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If I don't leave early today, I can't take my kids trick-or-treating... and that's some pretty serious shit. |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, explaining why class was going to be a bit shorter than usual
October 31, 2005 |
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There are other picture that you can not tell she's wearing a thong. But I don't think it makes a difference. -Anthony
I think it does. -Kent
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-Anthony and Prof. Kent Miller, discussing Anthony's studio photo project (Lucas thought the comment was hilarious)
November 2005 |
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I think instead of going to the Cabin next week, we should all go to Merissa's house and beat the shit out of her (points to photo). |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, joking around when Merissa complained about having trouble with her photo subject
November 30, 2005 |
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Oh, I know how it affects me now... been on it for two weeks... |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, after on student said he didn't know how vicadin prescribed for his pneumonia would react with his body
November 2005 |
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Oh I know why! I'm on vicadin! |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, wondering why he was scattered in class one afternoon while sick with pneumonia
November 2005 |
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They've eaten, drank, slept, and made love to photography for year and years... |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, describing photo editors
November 2005 |
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What did we do before Post-It Notes?!? I don't know! |
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-Professor Harris, joking about her method of organization
November 10, 2005 |
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You have to be drunk, high, or christian... |
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-Cayla Lockwood, on the rules of being in a band
November 21, 2005 |
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You mean Thermo-shrinkyourpenis? |
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-Weight room guy, talking to his buddy about trying a new muscle builder
November 19, 2005 |
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If you work for Playboy, I want all your photos... And if you work for National Geographic, I want one of those cool safari hats... |
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-Robert Lopez, talking about my possible photography career options
October 31, 2005 |
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Yeah, now all you got is a penis and testicles there... |
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-Lucas Merrill, talking about Jena's (rather phallic) still life photo of vegetables
October 26, 2005 |
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It looks like you got a set of nuts there... |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, talking about Jena's still life photo of vegetables
October 31, 2005 |
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Somebody needs to get a life... |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, talking to Luke, about Luke's obsession with Star Wars
October 31, 2005 |
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Champagne goes so well with Vicadin. |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, joking about the medication he was on for pneumonia
October 31, 2005 |
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I'm thinking about starting out talking to fat chicks, that way I can build my way up to hot chicks. Baby Steps... |
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-Josh Gudaman, on gaining more confidence at his new school
October 18, 2005 |
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30+30=60... I'm confused... |
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-Cayla Lockwood, when I was explaining credit hours
October 18, 2005 |
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What she lacked in personality, she made up in cleavage... |
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-Josh Gudaman, talking about... an old friend of ours
October 18, 2005 |
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And I went through and made sure the the first letter in each word was capitalized... |
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-Casey Shortt, on editing ID3 tags in iTunes out of boredom after her internet was cut off
October 11, 2005 |
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Man this place sucks without more Josh quotes. I'm serious though. I found the lack of Josh to be disturbing. |
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-Josh Gudaman, on my Quote section
October 11, 2005 |
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I realized that women don't want a nice guy, (just) to be with a nice guy. They want a nice guy so they can fuck him up and turn him into an asshole. Because that's what they really want. Asshole guys aren't born, they are made from nice guys by fucked up chicks. |
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-Josh Gudaman, on understand college girls
October 11, 2005 |
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I'm like my own hurricane... I need donations. |
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-Tatiana Alota, on being broke
October 3, 2005 |
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Shit. I turn into a girl when I see baby animals |
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-Evan Dickinson, after seeing photos I shot of some puppies for the school paper
September 24, 2005 |
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They had a recipe for Beer-Fried Chicken, which is actually pretty good... just have to get enough beer so you don't waste it all cooking the chicken. |
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-Prof. Elliot Parker, talking about what we could add to our menus for an in-class party-flier assignment
September 22, 2005 |
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So smoking marijuana, in a hot tub, in tight jeans would definitely be bad for your sperm count. |
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-Dr. Kit Payne, lecturing in Human Development about various things that affect your sperm count
September 21, 2005 |
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Cuz that's what criminals do... they use BIG cameras so they get a REALLY high quality photo of the place... |
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-Prof. Elliot Parker, talking about how his student was using a 4x5 view camera to take a night photo of Taco Bell and was arrested by the cops because they thought he was scoping the place
September 20, 2005 |
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So she just took thse marijuana leaves and chopped them up and put them on the soup. And the was really good soup! |
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-Prof. Elliot Parker, telling a story about working in Asia as a young man and not knowing how his food had been prepared.
September 13, 2005 |
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We can't get pizza and beer on the first day of class guys... |
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-Prof. Kent Miller, when students said we should all go out after class
August 31, 2005 |
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Not all douchebags pop their collar, but all people with popped collars are douchebags |
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-Susan, one of Bedford's friends
September 16, 2005 |
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I'm gonna go eat some cheap, oily, MSG filled Chinese food... |
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-Eugene Lin, during a discussion while he's studying in Bejing, China
September 8, 2005 |
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We all know adults who get a sense of satisfaction from a really good bowel movement... |
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-Dr. Kit Payne, while lecturing on the anal phase of human development and the psyche
September 6, 2005 |
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So what are you going to do for material now? You're not in my class. You have no one to quote |
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-Dr. John K. Hartman, always good for new material, even outside the classroom
September 3, 2005 |
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I would so go black for him. And yes, you can quote me on that one. |
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-Laurel Norton, on Usher's body
August 29, 2005 |
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You're adorable. I can see you as a black man... |
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-Laurel Norton, talking about my Usher-status workout goal
August 29, 2005 |
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You and Luis would get along great... you're both mexicans... you're both into computers and are geeky.. you're both running from immigration |
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-Greg Angel, making fun of me
August 27, 2005 |
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How can you have a triple shot of whatever you took and then go for a Capri-Sun? |
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-Wiley Ho, talking to Shaun at TJ's party
August 27, 2005 |
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Be happy... You're in Mt. Pleasant! hahaha |
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-Teri Johnson, trying to cheer me up after I had a bad day (if you go to CMU, you'll understand the humor
August 24, 2005 |
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When you get here... we shall dance the Oompa-Loompa... |
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-Matt, after asking if I worked the opening shift with him the next day
August 11, 2005 |
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I would hire a nanny... Or one of those guys at Orchard (Supply Hardware) |
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-Jarrod Dandrea, talking about if he had kids he would get tired of watching them all the time
August 9, 2005 |
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You can tell this was written in the sixties... when visiting a factory was cool |
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-Matt, at work talking about Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
August 5, 2005 |
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Well they're higher, and uncomfortable, and a half a size too small... But they're so cute! |
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-Laura Quist, talking about a pair of pink heels she owns
August 3, 2005 |
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Two of them actually! |
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-Ric Groeber, when I asked "Don't you have an engineering degree?"
August 3, 2005 |
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Now if it was called 'Charlie & the Cigarette and Coffee Factory'...that would speak to me |
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-Matt, discussing the new Charlie & the Chocolate Factory movie
July 18, 2005 |
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She's black and I'm gay... We're practically sisters |
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-Greg Angel, on teachers
July 13, 2005 |
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I don't even remember my last name... |
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-Cassandra Deasy, trying to talk and drive at the same time...
June 30, 2005 |
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Awww I'm so funny..... I'm like the coolest person I know |
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-Art Ahlswede, admiring his own cleverness
June 30, 2005 |
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Ooohh he's coming soon... |
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-Random Old Lady, after the "40 year old virgin" preview
June 18, 2005 |
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Cheep Cheep Cheep... All the day long... |
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-Robyn Borquez, bitching about the birds chirping as she painted...
June 17, 2005 |
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I don't smell bad, I smell European... |
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-Marign, on being from Holland
June 17, 2005 |
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All I want to do is shit on customers at the Potsticker King |
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-Evan Dickinson, on what birds must think
June 15, 2005 |
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...I was listening to him when I was on the way to Hooters... |
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-Chris Degour, talking about a comedian
June 15, 2005 |
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What are you in the mood for? DON'T SAY JOHN! |
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-Chris Degour, asking Ana what she wants for lunch
June 14, 2005 |
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John, I can't find my pants... not good |
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-Linn Haddock, gettin ready in the morning
June 14, 2005 |
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Little drunk girl, go back on the dance floor... |
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-TJ Lauters, talking to Kim during Kara's party
June 13, 2005 |
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Kirby Nguyen... she's like, named after that Nintendo character |
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-Sean Young, talking about customers at The Sharper Image
June 12, 2005 |
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When the lights are out, all you hear are voices |
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-Arsi Jiwajinda, why men with accents don't have to be attractive
June 12, 2005 |
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Guiness is like a meal in itself -John
Yeah, but I rather have pasta -Evan |
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-John Remus & Evan Dickinson, on beer
June 12, 2005 |
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...Oh, and I love your abs. |
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-Stephanie Joe, in a christmas card she gave me
June 9, 2005 |
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I didn't see any bread in your puke... I only saw puke in your puke |
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-Jay Dev, after Ben told him the bread he ate made him puke
June 8, 2005 |
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Two black guys... or two black eyes? |
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-Justin Fortier, during a drunk conversation with Jay
June 8, 2005 |
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You don't do the double-F, Feel Full |
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-Jay Dev, talking about drinking and then eating
June 8, 2005 |
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You know reading is big part of some peoples lives...But for us it's pooping... |
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-Craig Knudson, on his football team's usual topics of conversation
June 2, 2005 |
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Just quack god damn it! |
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-Dr. John K. Hartman, when a student was stalling in class
May 31, 2005 |
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I'm gonna call roll, and if you're here you can "quack" or pass... |
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-Dr. John K. Hartman, during a quacking-contest we had in class
May 31, 2005 |
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Did you know Finnigan's Wake has some crazy ass dialog? |
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-Dr. John K. Hartman, on the writing style of the novel.
May 26, 2005 |
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In all honesty, I'm broke, I need a job and you guys showed the most intrest so I'm going with you |
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-Evan Dickinson, when asked "Why do you want to work here?" in his job interview.
May 26, 2005 |
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Well! Then put the phonetic spelling on it if you want it said right!!! |
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-Dr. John K. Hartman, while reading off names at the beginning of class
May 16, 2005 |
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The best part is hitting Refresh and looking at the Random Squares |
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-Ryan Little, on my website overhaul
May 16, 2005 |
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Hey John... You ever read bottles when you're in the bathroom...... I really like to read 'Pine Sol'... |
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-Drew Mormino, yelling from the bathroom while sitting on the can
May 15, 2005 |
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I rather cut down on fried food then on alcohol! |
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-Margaret Washington, on dieting
May 1, 2005 |
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I'M GETTING IT CUT THIS WEEKEND!!! |
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-Jenya Bakhtina, on leg hair
May 1, 2005 |
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Joe, what's your password? -John
noth...um...BUTTMONKEY! -Joe
Really? Ok, hahaha, that's great... -John |
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-Joe Lanza & John Remus, unlocking Joe's computer
March 13, 2005 |
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...that's like the guy who swam halfway across teh ocean, decided he couldn't make it, and swam back... -Joe
Wow, if he just kept swimming straight through... it would have been the same distance... -Merri |
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-Joe Lanza & Merri Howe,
March 13, 2005 |
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TTTHHHHHEEEEEERRRRRRREEEEEEE'SSSS REVERSE!!! |
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-Joe Lanza, trying to shift
March 13, 2005 |
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Oops! I keep forgetting I don't have fifth gear! |
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-Joe Lanza, on his slowly dying Dodge Daytona
March 13, 2005 |
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My favorite KoolAid flavor that they got rid of, and I haven't had since, is Purple Saurus Rex... -Joe
Oh! Was that the blue one?? -Merri |
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-Joe Lanza & Merri Howe, on KoolAid
March 13, 2005 |
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Tony the Tiger... -Merri (with her very strong Boston accent)
Is that Tony the TigAH or TigER -Joe |
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-Joe Lanza & Merri Howe, on accents
March 13, 2005 |
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It's like the logic at the beginning of the week... Disneyworld is only a car drive away; and we got a car... |
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-Joe Lanza, on this weeks change of plans
March 13, 2005 |
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BRILLIANT!!! |
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-Chris Biggs, his other new favorite word
March 13, 2005 |
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...make her happy, and give her the ride of her life... |
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-Joe Lanza, an inside joke, don't ask
March 21, 2005 |
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BLAST! |
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-Chris Biggs, his answer to everything on Spring Break '05
March 12, 2005 |
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quotesold
okwellyouhaveafulfillingworkoutandihopeyoudontgetaherniawhileliftingallofthatiron |
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-Ryan Williams, making fun of the fact that I exercise all the time
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I'm having a threesome with my girlfriend PHP, and her sister MySQL |
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-Sean Young, on coding
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Would you curl into a ball or just walk away....or roll away in your ball? |
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-Nicole Curry, saying how I would never fight anyone
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You should donate your hair to children who lost their hair in the tsunami |
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-Ric Groeber, talking about my long hair
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Dude, if they are going to make a sequel to Mel Gibson's "The Passion" you should so apply |
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-Ryan Williams, talking about my long hair
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It's a mouse, it's not like it's a dude... |
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-TJ Lauters, talking about "bending over for the mouse" (disney cast member joke from florida)
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You've never drank...but you've had a girlfriend. |
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-Kelly Barnes, her logic on my life
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"and Becky sent me her pics, so I need to add those to my site later..."
"hoe is she?...I mean how....how how how"
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-John Remus & Beau Perigino, talking about Becky
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RACHEL! BEND OVER!!! |
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-Portland State Volleyball Coach, during a match against Margaret's team (Cal Poly)
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...and stop by the strip club to pick up my last paycheck. |
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-Jillian Toby, tlaking about her plans for the day
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Yeah if we were all going in different cars it would have been great... You wouldn't have to worry about driving off a cliff, with a bunch of classmates who I REALLY don't plan on dying with... |
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-Jeff Almendarez, senior year, talking about how we were forced to take charter busses to prom
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"Do you guys have fires in Boston?"
"Did you seriously just ask me that question?" |
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-Evan Dickinson & Kara Bicknell, Evan talking to Kara
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I shouldn't have opened my mouth... |
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-Rhiannon West, on kissing
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DON'T MAKE ME CRASH THIS CAR DAMN IT! |
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-Ryan Williams, on the way to Magic Kingdom
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YOU don't know what LIT means?!?! FUCK YOU! |
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-Joe Lanza, arguing with Beau over LITs (Long Island iced Tea)
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Joe's an idiot... |
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-Beau Perigino, thoughts on Joe
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OH DUDE, they have grits down here! |
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-Joe Lanza, while reading the IHOP menu during our Reunion trip
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I ate the bad hashbrowns... |
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-Joe Lanza, first night of our Lifeguard-Summer-Reunion, while at IHOP
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This deals with Algebraic Vectors... So... like, numbers and stuff.. |
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-Dr. Jefferson Shirley, my totally kick-ass Trigonometry professor
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Some of the stuff I don't wanna teach... cuz you'll never use it anyway... |
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-Dr. Jefferson Shirley, my totally kick-ass Trigonometry professor
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"TJ, you wanna join Club Med with me in the next year or two for the summer?" -John
"Nah" -TJ
"What? Why not?" -John
"Me and the Sun don't get along" -TJ
"No John, you gotta ask it like this; TJ, do you want an insane amount of pussy?" -Evan |
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-John Remus, TJ Lauters, & Evan Dickinson, talking about plans for next summer
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Ahh man... my amigos are gone... |
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-Lauren Lopez, walking by a mexican food restaraunt
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I swear if I had a brain, I'd be dangerous |
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-Cassandra Deasy, making fun of her absentmindedness
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I have a bottle of vodka next to my bed cuz I can't stand waking up sober. |
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-Lisa M, joking that all she does is drink
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I used to pretend I was tall... |
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-Lisa Menestrina, on being short
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"Whatcha doin?"
"Workin on PHP scripts..."
"Pimps, Hoes, and Playas....scripts..." |
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-Lauren Lopez & John Remus, during a phone call from Lauren one night
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"talkative tonight, aren't we?"
"oh...sorry... so, um, what are you wearing?"
"well....nothing...since you asked..." |
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-John Remus & Lisa Menestrina, random discussion one night
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"...and chronic masturbation..."
"AMEN TO THAT!" |
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-Evan Dickinson & Kelly Barnes-Carr, Kelly agreeing with Evan
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You know all the hookers in like, Vegas... Do you think they have to pay taxes? |
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-Daniella Daniels, during a talk about Vegas during dinner
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"so what do you do other then look at livestock?"
"nothing, it consumes most of my life" |
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-John Remus & Elaine, joking that all Elaine does is oogle livestock
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Give me more boose, and I'll give you a kwuo...quoota, quotable quotes all night long |
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-Daniel Dock, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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Evan, we all know you take a finger... |
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-Daniel Dock, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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You should be quoting me, I'm like Readers Digest |
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-Daniel Dock, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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My liver will kiss me on the lips....My liver loves me... |
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-Daniel Dock, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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"I understand...I'll have sex with you if that's what it takes..." -Dan
"EVAN, Don't write that down...he was kidding..." -Jenilee
"No, No I was serious..." -Dan |
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-Daniel Dock & Jenilee Boyd, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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"You can write down whatever you want, I'll tell you if it's right." -Dan
::Evan pretends to write::"I like penis"
"Yeah, well I did say that though..." -Dan |
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-Daniel Dock & Evan Dickinson, when Dan insinuated that Evan was gay
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"Who are you?"
"I go to M.I.T." |
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-John Remus II & Daniel Dock, during a BBQ when Dan was pretty drunk
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Leah was telling me about when she was Eight....so, last year... |
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-Evan Dickinson, joking about the age difference between him and his girlfriend (she's not eight, don't worry people)
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Who's always winning those marathons? It's not those big guys, it's those little Kenyans |
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-Mrs. Ursula Berg-Lunk, saying being big and strong isn't always good
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I'm more mexican than you mang |
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-Bob Chatman, saying he's more mexican then me
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What are we talking about over here? Biology? That's more interesting to me. Alleles are my kinda thing! |
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-Ana Vargas, preferring our biology discussion to the video game discussion during dinner
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But he's gonna watermark it...isn't that illegal? |
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-Ana Vargas, saying I watermark everything I have
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She's the next one up....SERVING NUMBER 47! |
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-Jenilee Boyd, on her new girlfriend
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IS IT THE RARE RETRO'S?!? |
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-Random Guy, looking up shoes on Ebay in the Admin building at school
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I hate this class... |
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-Bob Chatman, in English 1B, which was full of boring people compared to 1A
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"Question for you....Where? and How hard?" -Random Man-lady at school
"Haha.....ha....No Thanks..... ::man-lady walks away::...If you were a hot chick, maybe I'd take you somewhere and show you"
-Josh |
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-Josh Gudaman, he was wearing a shirt that said "bite me", and the you couldn't tell if this random person was a guy or girl
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It's really beautiful, with real style, but it's illegible... |
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-Mrs. Ursula Berg-Lunk, talking about John's handwriting during class one day
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Have you read my life story? It's maybe a page long... |
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-Bob Chatman, while sitting in English class one day
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You shoulda said 'nah bitch, I want rice puddin... I'm tired of vanilla |
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-Evan Dickinson, talking about the different girls John dated
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I'm in a relationship, but I can still look at other women...longingly... But that could be because I'm becoming more of a dog... |
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-Bob Chatman, after dating Kelly for a few weeks
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There's a difference be paraphrasing and plagiarizing |
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-Evan Dickinson, talking about Jill
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If you guys can't tell when I have an erection, what kind of friends are you?? |
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-Bob Chatman, on his 21st birthday, while really drunk
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Don't touch me, I'm naked |
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-TJ Lauters, talking to Bob after he stripped down and jumped in the pool during Bob's 21st
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I like how the only time they have some alone time and Ana gets some lovin', is after a big sale at Frys (Electronics) |
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-Evan Dickinson, talking about Chris and Ana
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Isn't everyone's first time with their hand? |
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-Rachel Smith, on kissing
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Hell even a baby lab could bag a beagle. |
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-Chris Degour, talking about how small beagles are
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Somewhere there are people having sex that are going to be intruded upon... |
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-Chris Degour, random thoughts on our walk to class
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You tapped that ass. I know your type...all you ass-tappers. |
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-Monica Remus, jokining with John
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We have a lot of sex in this class |
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-Mrs. Ursula Berg-Lunk, talking about the types of short stories in the class
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When you're sane you realize how horrible life is. |
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-Mrs. Ursula Berg-Lunk, on the benefits of insanity
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"I'm surprised girls don't hit on you more"
"Girls usually assume I'm already taken, or gay..."
"oh...WAIT...that means that girls think I'm too ugly to have a girlfriend..." |
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-Chris Degour & John Remus, during a discussion on why John is single
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The little dudes that roll up into a ball? |
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-Lauren Lopez, on rollie-pollie's/pill bugs/potato bugs
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I would rather eat the cow then drink the cow |
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-Lauren Lopez, on milk
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"My buttcheek hurts, Aaron will you rub it and make it feel better?"
"Up and Down, or in a circular motion?"
"Hmm, Up and Down, Circular would just make me feel gay." |
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-Beau Perigino & Aaron Thesing, when Beau was complaining about his butt after a beach trip
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"well we'll have to ask Naidymar about how long Aaron lasts I guess"
"Yeah, I don't know how long I last... I guess it depends on how many baseball cards I can remember..."
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-John Remus & Chris Fuller, in Daytona, Chris thinking of how long he lasts
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::after spilling his 5th drink of the night on his pants::
"Damn it...CAN SOMEONE LICK THIS OFF FOR ME..." -Chris
"Shhh... you're being loud" -Laurel
"SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE HAS TO LICK THIS OFF FOR ME" -Chris
"Kate, ask that guy for his napkin..." -John
"NO, DON'T ASK HIM TO LICK IT OFF FOR ME" -Chris |
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-John Remus, Chris Fuller, & Laurel Norton, during a night of drinking and dancing in PI (Disneyworld)
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"admit it, you all secretely hate each other"
"well, don't tell Niki, but I really hate her so much, can't stand the bitch..." |
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-John Remus & Allie, joking about Niki
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"yeah...I have a girlfriend..."
"Is she inflatable?" |
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-Evan Dickinson & Shannon Chaney, insulting the possibility that Evan has a girlfriend
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"You should wear those all day..."
"Yeah, I will. Even tonight while I'm gettin pounded like ground beef." |
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-Ana Vargas & Evan Dickinson, in the mall talking about how some clothes Evan was looking at made him look gay
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"You were born sleeping..."
"I WAS!!! I don't even remember my birth, I was out!" |
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-John Remus & Lauren Lopez, talking about Lauren's excessive sleep habits
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BRING ON THE HOES! |
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-Ana Vargas,
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The reason there are short girls in porn is for a reason |
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-Bob Chatman, having a porn epiphany
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I'm not a pimp, I'm a republican |
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-Josh Gudaman, after being called a pimp
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They're gone? I don't love you any more... |
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-Josh Gudaman, talking about Bob's Creamsavers
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"Hungry as a Hobo..."
"They're probably more thirsty for beer then anything." |
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-Isaac & Aimiee, Isaac trying to make an alliteration in class
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Women have a reason for everything they do, granted, it's never logical |
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-Chris Degour, on women's way of thinking
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I thank God for porno |
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-Dave Nordahl, on porn
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I'll let you feel em somtime...I don't care how realistic those things are, you can't fake the jiggle |
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-Margaret Washington, on boobs
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"The guy asked for my number after he pierced me"
"be like, 'uh..no man...that's all the action you're gettin'"
"He (already) got to play with my nipples for a good 20 minutes"
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-Vered & John Remus, talking about piercing
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"OK, FINE.....come here Chris "
"NONONONONONO"
"ME FIRST John!"
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-John Remus, Chris Degour, & Ana Vargas, when we were talking about kissing, and someone kissing Chris
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"Look, we can just all hook up and take dirty pictures and post them on the
internet, we'll make tons of money"
"NO... ::thinks a bit:: ...wait...you know what? WE COULD!!!"
::Chris stops to think about it again::
"No, wait...cuz I'd be wondering why it was just pictures of you and Ana" |
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-John Remus & Chris Degour, John joking around with Chris and Ana
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"I don't call anyone, Ana calls"
"She never calls me"
"...cuz I work my ass off to make sure she forgets about calling you!" |
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-Chris Degour & John Remus, Chris explains why Ana doesn't call John
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"Call the bitches up John"
"Ok. How many? Clothed or Un-Clothed?"
"Un-Clothed!!!" |
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-Bob Chatman, John Remus, & Ana Vargas, while sitting around bored one night
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You should stand outside her window and yell "Ana" until she comes out. Then just say, "well...I don't know your name, but you answered to Ana last time" |
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-Chris Degour, telling Evan how to get Ana's nieghbors attention
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"see, you should just listen to me to get girls man"
"no, we should listen to John to get girls"
"NO, you should look like John to get girls, but listen to me"
"Yes..but John has fans in every state, there's not a state where there isn't a girl waiting for him" |
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-Chris Degour & Evan Dickinson, Chris trying to give Evan dating tips
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I rock, and have rolls... I am rock & roll |
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-Evan Dickinson,
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"They'd have to pay me a lot of money to do that (a nude photo shoot)"
"I have five dollars...is that enough?" |
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-John Remus & Margaret Washington, while going over pictures from a photo shoot
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Just keep touchin people...guys... |
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-Ana Vargas,
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Yeah, he's known her since she was in grade school |
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-Chris Degour, talking about Evan and Leah
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"No woman is sane"
"LOOK! DO YOU SEE HOW WELL I'VE TRAINED HER?!?" |
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-Ana Vargas & Chris Degour,
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I'm pretty anal about oral |
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-Liz, talking about hygene
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"Remove all sharp objects from her reach, grab her knives..."
"Yeah, take her purse...and her shirt." |
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-John Remus & Bob Chatman, talking about Cristine
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I. Put. Periods. After. Every. Damn. Word. Bitch. |
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-Evan Dickinson, arguing with Bob online
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"If John were an asian girl, I'd have raped him years ago..."
"That's disgusting.." |
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-Evan Dickinson & Cristine, talking during lunch at Burger King
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You know, you're in the company of three....two beautiful men... |
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-Bob Chatman, talking to Cristine with both me (John) and Evan in the car
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I like playin with Bob's sack |
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-Evan Dickinson, talking about Bob's Skittles bag
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Come on, it's all about gettin it on. I haven't dated a guy where it hasn't been about gettin in on. Granted, I haven't gotten it on... |
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-Janessa La Deit, on dating logic
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I need some lovin' |
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-Janessa La Deit, while sitting around the lunch table
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I want to violate Mike |
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-Janessa La Deit, while sitting around the lunch table
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Mike isn't gettin any tonight |
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-Jenessa La Deit, while sitting around the lunch table
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I'm so glad I have school tomorrow |
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-Bob Chatman, on a Sunday night
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I need one of those (friends) |
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-Liz,
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Ihay ikelay enispay |
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-Ana Vargas, having just learned Pig Latin
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Or else i'll be the stalker chick waiting outside for my swim lessons |
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-Liz, saying I better be around this summer to teach her to swim
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Fuckin A...I broke it... |
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-Bob Chatman, while working on his Forum
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"Can I have the five piece Chicken Strips"
"Anything else?"
"No"
"So you want just the strips right?"
"yeah"
"do you want the meal? Or just the strips?"
"...just the strips"
::pulls around to window::
"So you wanted just the five piece strips right?"
"right..."
::Evan's amazed they asked again, John's laughing::
::hands bag to Evan::
"you do know you didn't get the meal right?"
"yes, i know..."
::Evan pulls away, opens bag...they gave him 7 strips:: |
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-Evan Dickinson, a conversation he had at the Carl's Jr. Drive through
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Out doing the plan with Stan and his magical hands |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, his away message one day
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I saw this guy on the bus yesterday, cuz I took the bus....yesterday... |
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-Vinh Quach, during lunch
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Haha, and after Evan passes out (from drinking bad Odwalla) you see Chica (our chihuahua) run over and start humping his face |
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-John Remus II, my dad, when Evan wasn't sure about the expiration date on his drink
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"...dude, I need to write down who that girl is before I forget" ::after just getting a girls number::
"you gonna write down a description too? Haha, so you know who she is when you call?"
"Yeah, I was gonna write 'Asian' but then I thought 'Wait...that's all I talk to'" |
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-John Remus & Matt Schroeder, talking between classes at school
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Fuckin mexicans. Now some beaner is gonna do a drive by, but the bullets
will travel in weird trajectories because the fuckers put hydraulics on their El Caminos! |
| |
-Bob Chatman,
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I'd be all over that like Evan on a hot asian chick |
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-Evan Dickinson,
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The funniest thing happened.....his mom died... |
| |
-Evan Dickinson, talking about Mike Segno
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"Huh?? Huh??? Mr. Idontcryenough!"
"Ok Mr. Imtoointouchwithmyfemininesideformyowngoodsoitsmakeslooklikealittlesissygirlyman" |
| |
-Evan Dickinson & John Remus,
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But, if I were in a gang...and someone said "what the F" I'd stab that person |
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-John Remus, talking about how Chris Degour doesn't finish curse words
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I was coughing my head off....my balls hurt so bad |
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-Evan Dickinson,
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Hell no man, Daniella would probably get more pussy then me |
| |
-Evan Dickinson, on why he wouldn't want to go to Cancun
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Meghan used to say I suck, now she just tell's me where to put it. |
| |
-Margaret Washington, while playing pool
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"You're Canadian?...I thought you were Asian...."
"I am" |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl & Kevin Davis, first realizing that Kevin was asian AND from canada
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THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! And would you like to tell us what color the sky is? |
| |
-Evan Dickinson, talking to Shaun
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Italians are next to Italy |
| |
-Shaun Vanderzyl, on Italians
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Fucking spell it right. C-O-O-L! COOL. None of this cutesie bullshit. Who the fuck are you? Hello Kitty? Get a fucking speak-n-spell. Anyway Evan, yes, you are COOL. It's COOL knowing you, and COOL reading you COOL subprofile. |
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-JD Smith, making fun of Christine on Evan's sub-profile
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Well, Mike is like the little brother, well not really cause he isn't really little, he's bigger then Shaun, but he's always been little Mikey |
| |
-TJ Lauters, on the complexity of our group
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Someday Evan, you're gonna find a girl who's madly in love with you and you won't have anything to do with her cuz she's Indian |
| |
-John Remus, pointing out Evan's slight racism at the time
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"HaHa, Rachel, you're funny, I never noticed that"
"Yeah, cuz you were too busy laughing at yourself!" |
| |
-Evan Dickinson & Rachel Smith,
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Yeah man, see if they put the sign back when I threaten them with my sack of steel balls....everyone who's everyone has a sack of steel balls |
| |
-JD Smith, after breaking a sign at our high school
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"TJ, can I borrow your cell phone?"
::TJ waves hand in air, and snaps fingers...and nothing happens::
"Oh, never mind" |
| |
-Evan Dickinson, needing to use a phone
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No, that's ok Evan, I don't want to listen to any of your devil music |
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-John Remus, insinuating that all Evan listens to is "devil music"
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You know what Rap stands for? Retards Attempting Poetry... |
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-JD Smith, on the meaning of rap
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"I'd teach you how to drive, but I'm Asian"
"Yeah, that would be a step backwards in the learning how to drive process" |
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-Arsie Jiwajinda & Evan Dickinson, Arsie offering to teach Evan to drive
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All these old men, and creepy guys hit on me and stare at me where ever I go |
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-Jillian Toby, on creepy old men
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I WANNA, BUT, FUCK YOU! |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, complaining about not being able to do what he wants...though when taken out of it's original context...
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Arsi...have you met Jill? |
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-Evan Dickinson, introducing Arsie and Jill for second time...not to mention they go to school together...
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YOU'RE MEXICAN?? |
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-Evan Dickinson, talking to John after making a racial joke in front him...and after knowing him for 5 years
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Evan, one day you're gonna get shot....cuz you just talk |
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-John Remus & TJ Lauters, warning Evan
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I can take a hot sausage |
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-TJ Lauters, while planning for a BBQ
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There are dumb people, and then there's Shaun |
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-Evan Dickinson, insulting Shaun
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Vroom vroom bang dead |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, talking about Ian
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She wasn't actin' right after the honeymoon so I dropped the bitch |
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-John Remus, on why he didn't have a wife while playing the board game Life
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THINGS TO LEARN/DO (IN NO PARTICULAR ODER):
-GET JOB
-GET GIRL
-FIX CAR
-TO LEARN TO DANCE WHEN NOT DRUNK AND TO DANCE BETTER WHEN DRUNK;-) |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, his to-do list in 11th grade
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I would have bet my left nut AND my right nut that JD was the christian |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl,
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Fuck no drunk, no dance for Shaun |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, on running out of money for alcohol in Amsterdam
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ME=gay |
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-Bob Chatman, on Windows... but it's still funny
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He's really old....He's like 30 |
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-Jillian Toby, talking about Desi, but after dating Jon Epperson
November 18, 2001 |
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Well, just know, I support you no matter what!... Well I guess that's not totally true cuz if you said you were leaving me for a swedish super model, I wouldn't support you, or if you said you're moving to the Yucatan to become a buddhist monk, I wouldn't be able to support that either. |
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-Jillian Toby, talking to John
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"I always hated when the guys got excited when wrestling"
"YEAH ME TOO!" |
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-Jenilee Boyd & Shaun Vanderzyl, Shaun jumping into Jenilee's conversation about being a girl on a guys wrestling team
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WIND SHEER GUYS! WIND SHEER! |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, on spraying Binaca into the wind
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F.B.I.! F.B.I.! |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, talking to Dennis
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You know, a woman with a lisp could never sell phone sex... |
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-John Remus, during an epiphany freshman year
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A man once told me, I'm as smart as an ass |
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-John Remus,
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It's not pink! It's lite red! |
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-Evan Dickinson, arguing with Shaun about Strawberry Starburst
March 10, 2000 |
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I'm not a racist person, no... I hate everyone equally. |
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-John Remus & Evan Dickinson, joking around at school
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So, if you're only making a small wish, then isn't it fair to take change when throwing a quarter into the fountain? |
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-John Remus, talking to Evan while sitting at the Valco mall fountain
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"YOU HIT A CRIPPLE!"
"So, he couldn't feel it..." |
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-John Remus & Evan Dickinson, thinking of excuses after that one Malcom episode
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Sometimes I start stuff.....(without finishing) |
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-John Remus & Evan Dickinson, joking about Shaun
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The Mocha-to-Chocolate ratio is critical |
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-John Remus, making fun of people at The Roasted Coffee Bean
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He's got one of them weird syndromes where he braids his hair in his sleep |
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-John Remus,
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I remember..... |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, on thoughts
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The last thing I need right now, is something I really needed yesterday |
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-John Remus, answering an e-mail survey
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I don't procrastinate....I postpone! |
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-Shannon Chaney, on homework
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How is Sea-level determined if there is an 8 foot difference between the two oceans? |
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-John Remus, after science class freshman year
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The Sun's bright when I look at it... |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, while talking about the Sun
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You know how when you walk into apartments, and people say something like It smell's like Indians/Asians/etc.? Well, do you ever think they stroll in and say something like: Man, it smells like Whities in here! |
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-John Remus, talking with TJ and Evan
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-Shaun Vanderzyl,
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Know what movie's they should make?
What?
Parodies...like Conan: the Mexican, where he's armed with like a rake and a leaf blower.
HaHaHa
Or another Ernest movie, but something like Ernest: Throws Down |
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-John Remus & TJ Lauters, during TV/Media class
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OH NO!!!! F-WORD ON THE UNDERSIDE!!!!!!!!! |
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-Dennis Kitanik, when asked to check under his desk for gum in 10th grade
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DAMN IT!!! WHERE'S MY GUN??? |
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-Shaun Vanderzyl, talking about an Indian couple pushing their stroller down Lawrence Expressway during traffic, w/o a sidewalk
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UH-OH....my gaydar's gettin rusty.... |
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-Jenilee Boyd, our bi friend after being in a straight relationship for a bit
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